Thursday, May 6, 2010

Scar Face

(Beeps Baum - attack pug)

Tuesday night I was laying on my floor after returning from a jog. My husband was leaving and I had just finished some ab exercises. Our pug Beeps seems to suffer from some separation anxiety and tends to lose his mind when one of us leaves the house. So as my husband was leaving to go on a man-nerd-date with a friend to see An Evening with Garrison Keillor (insert gay senior citizen joke here), my lovely pugs came charging at me. Mabel just tends to follow Beeps no matter what he's doing. While in a panic due to their father leaving without them they slammed into my right cheek which stunned all three of us. Then Beeps (the one pictured above) attempted to jump over my face onto the couch. FAIL. Instead 25 pounds of pug scrambled across my face. Needless to say, I have a gnarley scratch (I like to call it a scar) running from my eye to my jaw. I like to tell people it's from a knife fight or from my husband bull whipping me. My husband thought (actually probably hoped) that I could turn into a were-pug (similar to a werewolf). Yep, that is my husband. According to the D & D Monster Manual (I seriously can't make this shit up) since I was attacked by an pug I would probably turn into one when the moon was full.

Tonight my husband took a look at it again and attempted to believably tell me the scratch was healing. It's not. It's not any better than it was the other day. In fact it may be darker. Though he did point out that I looked like Captain Harlock. Who? What?

Oh yes, I had to look it up. Captain Harlock, first off is a man-boy, who may have a similar haircut as I do and also a giant scar across his face as I currently do. Wow, Cap here is also a space pirate (oh my damn!) who made his first appearance in Adventures of a Honeybee (that sounds tough or gay or both). Okay I am going to stop reading the wiki page now, if I don't this blog will just turn into me bashing my apparent twin, the poor scarred-anime-man-boy. In conclusion, my husband thinks I resemble a scarred-anime-man-boy! The worst part, I think he loves the fact that I do, or he's jealous and wishes he had the scar. In fact, last night he was holding beeps paw to his face and saying "now do me". Sigh.

I think I look like a G.I. Joe villain that, given the choice. would wear metallic-stilleto heels and a sparkling body suit a la Lady Gaga.

So here's your comparison: Me and scarred-anime-man-boy Captain Harlock. What do you think?

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Photo Blog

I need to start off with an apology. I'm sorry I've been absent lately. I went to Chicago for a weekend, had my 30th birthday (which was a week long celebration) and have been crazy busy at work. No more excuses though. I'm back!

This week's blog is a comparison of photos that I took in Chicago and photos my husband took in Chicago. Enjoy!

My Photos
This photo was taken at Sneaky Pete's in Iowa. We stopped there for dinner, it was a nice break in the drive to Chicago. It is beer, in jars. Awesome. Beer is awesome, beer in jars, awesomer. What is not to love?

Next this is photo of bacon jam. Hells yes. Bacon jam people! Delicious, bacon goodness.

I took this photo at Wrigley Field. John Cusack singing "Take me out to the Ballgame." John Cusack. I love him. I remember falling in love with him at an early age, thank you "Say Anything," "Better Off Dead" and "Grosse Pointe Blank."

This is also from Wrigley Field. Dude with a helmet full of nachos. Look for this photo soon on one of my favorite websites....This is why you're fat.

Man, in green leopard bodysuit, slow motion dancing on a platform, tennis racquet in hand, Michigan Ave. Radical.

My Husbands Photos

Harry Potter! I wanted to be Harry Potter for Halloween. After seeing this, I no longer want to be Harry Potter.

No camel toe. Impressive. I am not sure who she is. I think it would be awesome if this was a dude dressed in spandex (let me check with my husband to see who this is...Spiderwoman)then the tuck job is stellar. On another note...Spiderwoman? Who? What? Is she like the sister or third cousin of Peter Parker? Dumb. Plus her costume is totally not as sweet as Spiderman's.

Next this is the Red Skull. I know this due to the recent Captain America movie talk and such. Apparently he has a red skull (clever) and is also a Nazi. Huh, okay. So I like to take pictures of nachos and John Cusack, my husband likes to take pictures of a
Nazi with a red skull with piercing blue eyes, damn.

Iron Man! Well I don't think this is Iron Man's Armor, his is red, so this must be Tony Stark's friend's get up. What is his friend's name? Can't remember so we will just say it is Don Cheadles Iron Man get up. Right? Wrong? (note: while my husband proof read this blog he reminded me that this was Iron Man's first armor from the first movie). Also, Burger King has a new whopper in honor of Iron Man, the whiplash whopper. I think it has fried onions on it.

This picture reminds me of the scene in the "Wizard of Oz" where the guards are marching and 'ooo--ee--oo---oooooo-o'-ing in front of the Witch's liar. I think singing is just what He-Man was missing. Discuss amongst yourselves.

I hope you enjoyed a peak into our trip. As a bonus since I have been M.I.A. lately, I leave you with a few awesome links to some fun stuff on the internet from the last few weeks.

Glee (Madonna episode). Sooooooooo freaking good.