Tuesday night I was laying on my floor after returning from a jog. My husband was leaving and I had just finished some ab exercises. Our pug Beeps seems to suffer from some separation anxiety and tends to lose his mind when one of us leaves the house. So as my husband was leaving to go on a man-nerd-date with a friend to see An Evening with Garrison Keillor (insert gay senior citizen joke here), my lovely pugs came charging at me. Mabel just tends to follow Beeps no matter what he's doing. While in a panic due to their father leaving without them they slammed into my right cheek which stunned all three of us. Then Beeps (the one pictured above) attempted to jump over my face onto the couch. FAIL. Instead 25 pounds of pug scrambled across my face. Needless to say, I have a gnarley scratch (I like to call it a scar) running from my eye to my jaw. I like to tell people it's from a knife fight or from my husband bull whipping me. My husband thought (actually probably hoped) that I could turn into a were-pug (similar to a werewolf). Yep, that is my husband. According to the D & D Monster Manual (I seriously can't make this shit up) since I was attacked by an pug I would probably turn into one when the moon was full.
Tonight my husband took a look at it again and attempted to believably tell me the scratch was healing. It's not. It's not any better than it was the other day. In fact it may be darker. Though he did point out that I looked like Captain Harlock. Who? What?
Oh yes, I had to look it up. Captain Harlock, first off is a man-boy, who may have a similar haircut as I do and also a giant scar across his face as I currently do. Wow, Cap here is also a space pirate (oh my damn!) who made his first appearance in Adventures of a Honeybee (that sounds tough or gay or both). Okay I am going to stop reading the wiki page now, if I don't this blog will just turn into me bashing my apparent twin, the poor scarred-anime-man-boy. In conclusion, my husband thinks I resemble a scarred-anime-man-boy! The worst part, I think he loves the fact that I do, or he's jealous and wishes he had the scar. In fact, last night he was holding beeps paw to his face and saying "now do me". Sigh.
I think I look like a G.I. Joe villain that, given the choice. would wear metallic-stilleto heels and a sparkling body suit a la Lady Gaga.
So here's your comparison: Me and scarred-anime-man-boy Captain Harlock. What do you think?