Moving on Up!

Hey blog fans - I have some news for you. My blog is now going to be hosted over at the new and "improved" (debatable - JUST KIDDING) Two-Headed Nerd webpage. So what does this all mean, all 20 of you might be asking. Well, it means that I will have to probably update my blog at least once a week - seriously, that is a lot of commitment those fools are asking from me, don't they know I would rather go out and drink then write??!, and that you will now visit their site to find Girl Meets Nerd. If you still want to access my back blogs, then this site will still be up, and you can find them here.

I assume my first post on the new site will be this one (totes lame, I know), but I expect to bang one out next week before I jet off to LA to be a real life Penny Lane for a week.

I want to thank everyone for reading and to keep reading (PLEASE!!!), see you over at the Two-Headed Nerd!

Batman:Year One

Hey guys! Check out the latest episode of The Two-Headed Nerd Comicast to hear me talk about "Batman: Year One" written by Frank Miller and illustrated by David Mazzucchelli.

Matt and Joe were kind enough to invite me on their show (aka they finally got sick of hearing me bitch about not being on the show) and give my thoughts/reaction on a comic of their choosing. My segment even has a title "Kacie's Krazy Korner" (ugh, racism) and theme music! Since The Dark Knight Rises, just opened the previous weekend, they figured that "Batman: Year One" would be a nice tie in.

Click here to find out if I give this comic a "buy it, skim it or leave it..." Oh the suspense!

Gandalf vs. Dumbledore

For those of you that don't know, I am currently training for the Lincoln half marathon on May 6. It is a huge commitment of my time and a lot of running. When I run I need some pumped up jams to keep me motivated like this and this. Especially on my long run days, like last Sunday, for instance.

I was well into mile four heading to the finish line at mile five when it happened. All of a sudden there was what sounded like a drunk yelling in slow motion and then this happened.

You see, my husband and I share a Spotify account. Or I should say, I mooch of his and created myself a sweet running catalog of hits. Apparently two weeks ago when he was creating a nerd playlist to be heard during The Two-Headed Nerd Comicast one year anniversary/birthday party, he starred this song and dragged it to what he thought was the nerd folder. Alas, it was my running folder.

I almost fell off my treadmill when it came on. Seriously, to the ground. Even the photo that popped up when I went to change the tune almost stopped me on the moving belt. But, just as I was about to swipe on to the next song, something took over and my finger froze. That's when the rapping started. But not just any rapper, oh no. This was Gandalf from 'The Hobbit' and 'The Lord of the Rings' versus Dumbledore from the Harry Potter series. IT WAS AMAZING! Words cannot do it justice, so the lyrics are below.

Gandalf:
You shall not pass!
I rap fast like Shadowfax
Tom Riddle me this, you bitch
How's your little wand gonna beat my staff?
I leave mics in flames, torched by Gandalf,
Touch mine Dumbledore and scorch your other hand off
You fool, you got Snaped, you're not a real fighter
Death makes you die and just makes my brights, brighter
You ass is like Grigotts, everyone makes a deposit,
We all know you've more than a boggart in your closet

Dumbledore:
The prophecy forgot to mention this day,
When I knocked your ass back to Gandalf the Grey
Check your status, they call me headmaster, you're nothing
Nice staff, you compensating for something?
I prefer the company of wizards and I'm proud of it,
You try to win your battles with two fat hobbits
You think your hairy toed friends are gonna harm me?
Wait 'til the get a taste of Dumbledore's Army

Gandalf:
Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks,
I don't give a Fawkes about your Order of Phoenix
I'll tie a new not in your beard, with your wrinkly balls
For I am the one rapper to rule them all

Dumbledore:
Your spells are a joke, not funny ones either
Mines of Moria? Ha, more like Mind of Mencia
I'll Expecto my Patronum on your face, you little snitch
And when I'm finished, I'mma fly like it's-a quidditch.

I think this has to be my new running song, right?!

The Hobbit has Dwarves, who knew?!

It is no secret that my husband and I have very different tastes when it comes to movies. Sure there are many we do agree and love (I am talking about you Drive) but there are far more we disagree about seeing and enjoying.

The biggest offender of this probably is The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I love fantasy novels and movies, so no, that is not the issue. I also love a lot of the people in the cast...Charlie "Not Penny's Boat" Pace (serious LOST spoiler alert if you click on that link). So, not a casting issue either. It's just, I don't understand why Frodo just didn't get rid of the damn ring during hour two, because really, it would have saved me at least $15 bucks and seven hours of my life.

Fast forward...The Hobbit is being made into two movies, by Peter Jackson, of the Rings Trilogy fame. When I heard the news I could have cared less. I did not like the book or the play. In fact, I remember being in 7th grade when my High School did a production of The Hobbit and about 30 minutes in wanted to eat my face off from boredom. My husband on the other hand cannot wait.

He loves all the Tolkien books (and movies) like some people love the Bible. He even thought we should take our honeymoon in New Zealand, not to see New Zealand but to STAY IN THE HOBBIT HOUSES!

A little while ago the first Hobbit trailer was finally released. We were laying in bed talking about movies and decided to watch the trailer. Have you seen it? Well, again, not my cup of tea, but honestly, watching my husband watch the trailer should have been a movie itself.

There was smiling, giggles, screams of "AWESOME!," more giggles and then tears. Yes, HE CRIED WHEN THE HOBBITS SANG (correction from my husband -the Dwarves we're singing, not the Hobbits). The scene of them singing reminds me of the Irish Hour NPR airs on Sundays at noon (apparently that hour is called The Thistle and Shamrock with Fiona Ritchie another correction from my husband), my least favorite hour on the radio.

I was in disbelief. I do not think I have ever cried over a movie trailer. Cried in a movie, yes, totally acceptable, but crying over hobbits (or dwarves, if we are being totally correct here, geez) singing a song, I was speechless. I am sure I had this face the entire time this was happening.

The best part, to this day, is that when we talk about The Hobbit the following spews from him "When they broke out in song....(insert grunt noise and hand to heart motion) it made me tear up. It's gonna be so good. AHH!"

For all those that want to go sing hobbit songs (whatever, dwarf songs) and cry, please contact my husband. He will sit there with you, drink an ale and weep tears for the homies Sam, Pippin and Merry (and apparently added by my husband: Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Thorin Oakenshield, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori, and Ori).

Skyrim (a photo entry)

This is a glimpse into my life ever since the video game Skyrim has entered it. We literally just got home from the bars and he ran to the couch, picked up the xbox controller and began playing.

This might be worse than drugs, okay that was a tad dramatic, but it is a close second.

Christmas Movie Rankings

Once again I will apologize for the long absence. I went to D.C., London and Paris for pretty much the entire month of November, but now I am back and it's Christmas time!

Tonight when we got home from Pitch Pizzeria (it has been mentioned on this blog before so I will not repeat the awesomeness of this place), I turned on the tv and "White Christmas" with Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney was on the tv. I LOVE THIS MOVIE!

For real, you guys, I can watch this movie over and over again, and have. It reminds me of my grandmother, as she loves it just as much as I do and was the one who introduced it to me. Anyway, my husband emerged from the bathroom and saw that for the second night in a row this was on our tv. He knows of my love and asked me what my favorite Christmas movies were, besides this one.

My list is as follows:

-"White Christmas"

-"Elf"

-"Love Actually"

-"National Lampoons Christmas Vacation"

(side note - both my husband and I are singing "Count Your Blessings" right now with Bing Crosby...BOOM!)

-"Holiday Inn"

I asked my husband what his favorite Christmas movies were and he said, "I like the ironic Christmas movies." Of course he does, sigh.

-"Die Hard" (he has made me watch this on Christmas Eve, seriously)

-"Gremlins"

-"Edward Scissorhands" (I love this movie!!)

-"The Nightmare Before Christmas" (typical indie rock choice)

-"Rocky 4" (?????????? I don't understand!!)

So when Christmas Eve comes once a year and per our tradition of coming home after a night of family drinking and oyster stew eating (shout out Kelley family), we always choose a holiday movie to watch so please wish me luck this year otherwise I might end up watching "Black Christmas(the remake)."

And we gonna ride the boogie...

I just wanted to share my husband's latest avatar for Xbox live. Why yes, that is a sparkle bodysuit and boots that you see. It reminds me of the outfit Michael Jackson wore in the "Rock with You" video, minus the Nebraska Cornhuskers football helmet of course. If you ever get a chance to see this avatar live, it performs some sweet moves even Michael would have envied. I really have no words.

Just enjoy.

DC ReLaunch

As many of you all know my husband is a nerd, hence the blog title. One of the biggest nerd stories to come out in the last few weeks has been the relaunch of the DC Comic Universe. Let me have him explain it to you;

Hi, it's Kacie's husband Matt making a guest appearance because my wife is to lazy to look up any info on DC's relaunch (Kacie: RUDE! I'm not lazy, just intrigued by "The Lost Boys" playing on our TV at this moment). For those of you out of the comics loop, DC has restarted it's entire line of comics with the number one in an attempt to draw in new readers that may have been intimidated by over 70 years of back story. To those readers I say, you're lazy and start reading. Of course I've been reading DC comics for more than 25 years (Kacie: True, my husband is OLD). Regardless, the relaunch is here and so far it's been pretty well executed. Including the new Superman relaunch which is like rewriting Jesus's part of the bible for nerds like me.

In non-nerd terms he means (this is Kacie by the way) that the relaunch was designed to get those that are not avid comic book readers interested in reading them. My husband thought it would be fun to have a newbie to the comic book world read this relaunch to see if their evil ploy works. His guinea pig for the experiment is me of course. So without further ado, Batgirl #1.....(apparently nerds are upset about this one because Barbara Gordon, Commissioner Gordon's daughter, has been paralyzed in previous comics but in the relaunch is up and fighting crime again with the use of her arms and legs).

Just a small note to start with. The cover is Batgirl in costume, with red hair, which I was always partial too thanks to the red wig the Barbara Gordon on the 60's TV show had. My only problem is when a superhero has perfect makeup on, like on this cover. Please, you are fighting crime in a pleather suit, girl you are gonna sweat and that shit runs.

I just finished reading Batgirl #1, and to me this is what it feels and sounds like when I read this comic: click here. WHAT! I was confused from page when when the bad guy, The Mirror, shot up some poor old survivor of a disaster that I imagine to be similar to that of the Titanic. Then we flashed forward to some serial killer group that was going to kill some couple, and then Batgirl storms in and gets lucky (I believe those were her words) and saves the day. Then she has a bad dream about the Joker shooting her and paralyzing her, which is what I thought happened in old DC world, but I guess it really did happen here too, but she was only out the use of her legs for three years. See what I mean, that techno dance party video is so fitting right about now.

Anyway, now there was some police officer in the hospital, The Mirror punched a lady named Heidi, Barbara Gordon gets a roomie who likes tea and to hug, then she gets two more guns pointed at her an let's a dude die. THE END.

So my opinion, I don't really have one. I felt like I needed background information leading into this read and it jumped around so much it was like my brain was being wrinkled but not in the awesome wrinkled way. I probably would read it again, just to see if I could figure out what I had previously read, so I am not writing it off just yet, but if things are still like a techno mind jumble in issue #2, then I am OUT.

Have no fear my loyal readers, if you are dying for more posts like this, I am sure my husband will make me read some more #1's, as to be a real guinea pig one must do a sample of tests, not just stop after the first one. My husband thinks I will come around and begin a love affair with comics with his little Doctor Evil experiment here. He likes to cite the example of years ago tricking me into reading the first Harry Potter book to see if one would become obsessed. If you know me, and for those that do not, let me tell you that Ron Weasley is one of my top ten favorite people ever, so figure out how that experiment ended. He is hoping for more of the same.

*by the way that photo is me doing "The Batgirl."

Summer Loving....

Another glorious summer has come and gone. That means there was a multitude of nerd movies that came out over the last four months or so. I did not see them all, but I have a nerd husband, who saw every single comic book and/or superhero movie Hollywood cranked out this summer, so after I say my piece I decided it would be fun to challenge him with only allowing him one word to describe said movie.

Without further ado, I present: Thor, Green Lantern, X-Men: First Class, Captain America: The First Avenger and Conan the Barbarian.

Thor: I actually wanted to see this but didn't get the chance. It had quite a few positives going in, Kenneth Branagh directed it, Anthony Hopkins (or as Gwyneth Paltrow refers to him - Ant-ta-ny) co-stars and Natalie Portman is the love interest. Plus Thor, played by Chris Hemsworth, once appeared on Australia's version of Dancing with the Stars. Even better, he was DAMN GOOD!! That Samba deserved at least solid 8's. Okay, back to the movie, well, honestly I didn't see it so I am just going to ask my husband to describe it to me in one word (CHALLENGE!!)...."Cosmic."

Green Lantern: There was a lot of hype behind this one starring Ryan Reynolds and (gulp) Blake Lively. I have no beef with Ryan Reynolds, in fact, I will defend Van Wilder until my face turns blue, but I could not get behind this movie. The CGI superhero costume for starters looked ridiculous. I mean, it looked like a photoshop project gone bad. There was Ryan's head bobbling on a green CGI body/suit. Then you had Miss Gossip Girl herself, Blake Lively, as a pilot and aeronautics exec? COME ON PEOPLE! Must I refer you to what Blake is good at (go back like three blogs ago and check out her amazing boobs). Again, didn't see this so no real opinion from me, but my husband describes it in one word as: "Garbage...No....(long pause)...Uninspired. That is how I would describe it."

X-Men: First Class: I saw this one and I liked it! Well liking something versus thinking it was super fun is debatable. I did have a lot of wine going into this and I also do love James McAvoy (we share a birthday, swoon) and Jennifer Lawrence (Katniss!), so to say I am a bit biased was an understatement. Then to throw in the flavor-flave of Kevin Bacon...I mean, how am I to hate this flick? It was fun, the costumes were perfectly 60's, it was fast paced and the story kept my interest which are all selling points in my opinion. Husband's one word description: "Unexpected."

Side note, my husband is so not into playing the "give me one word game" at 10:51 pm.

Captain America: The First Avenger: I saw this one too! Go me! As I have stated before Chris Evans doesn't really do it for me, but I did feel he was a legit Captain America. He really did look and behave like the all American 1940's boy next door. My problem with this movie was it's pace, I felt it was fairly slow, plus I felt it had a hell of a lot of cheese. I get that it is set in the 40's so "golly," "gee," "swell" etc., are all words that get thrown around, but it was a tad too sweet for me. I did like the female lead in the movie, Peggy Carter, played by Hayley Atwell. She is beautiful. Anyway, husband's one word description is...."(ignoring me...)....(bitching about having to describe it in one word....)....Classic."

Conan the Barbarian: Yeah, no way in hell I was going to see this pile. Have you seen the trailer? BWAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, I had to get that out of my system. First off, I will say the man playing Conan, Jason Momoa, is gorgeous. That is a fact. Besides that though, this movie, I just don't get why it needs to be remade? Also, in my mind I feel Conan talks like Yoda, if Yoda were a WWF wrestler in the 1980s. For example, "ICE CREAM, I NEED. FEED WITH SPOON ME." I don't even think this movie deserves anymore of my time, so husband please take it away with one word: "Sophmoric."

Needless to say, I cannot wait for Fall movies!

*Extra: Both my husband and I saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes and throughly enjoyed it (shout out to Draco Malfoy). Although I do normally steer clear of all movies involving animals as they always remind me of my pugs. For example, baby ape Caeser, in my head, was totally the splitting image of Mabel Baum (my black pug). Needless to say, I squealed in the theater and my husband had to remind me it was an ape and not our pug. His one word: "Respectful."

Sweet, Sweet Fantasy Baby

Ladies and Gentlemen, a little background for you all. Last year it became official, Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys (NFL team) became my arch nemisis due to us sharing the same birthday. It was decided by me, that one of us cannot survive with the other one living, how very Voldemort/Harry Potter of us, right? Sidenote, I seriously need a real life Ron Weasley in my life. Anyhow, tonight due to all the fun NFL free agent-craziness my husband and I got to talking and it went a little something like this:

Me: Did you see where McNabb was going? F#$king Minnesota!

Him: That was expected. There was talk of that.

Me: Did you also see they got rid of Haynesworth? (background: I grew up in DC, am an avid Redskin fan, do not judge).

Him: To the Patriots, he will do great there.

Me: What? He was horrible last year!

Him: That is because (insert my husband having to tell me this again) he plays a 3/4 defense and was asked to play a 4/3 instead (side note, he is not positive the Patriots play a 4/3 but who I am to call that out).

Me: Well that shows signs of a player who refuses to adapt.

Him: That shows signs that Shanahan (Redskin coach) is crazy.

Me: True. I don't defend him. But still, the Redskins had a big day. Plus did you see Hasselback is going to the Titans?

Him: I did. Why did Seattle get rid of him?

Me: I don't know, or really care. Now onto Matt Leinart, he is staying somewhere, in the South maybe.

Him: No, he's a back-up for Schaub in Houston.

Me: No, he is not in Arizona. He is in the South area, like Texas, Jacksonville, something.

(turns out he is with Houston, KB 0, MB 1).

....This conversation lasts quite awhile. It turns into me in awe that the Giants might take Plaxico Burress back, how Reggie Bush is going to Miami and that once again, Tony Romo will be over-rated.

The end result after a ten minute debate on Tony Romo being over-rated turned into my husband challenging me to participate in Fantasy Football this year. At first I was unsure of what to think, but after another glass of wine I was in. I thought it would just be him against me, but I was told at least ten other people would be in our fantasty league and it would involve some money. I am in! In conclusion, I am going to be playing Fantasy Football for the first time ever this coming season. I am not going to lie, I think i have a chance. I mean for the last two years I have dominated the NCAA tournament bracket pools I have been in, it kind of has to be the same right? I know enough about football to sustain a conversation about the going-ons with Reggie Bush, Tim Tebow, McNabb and Ocho Cinco to get me this far, right? I am just saying, if you are a betting man, bet on Mrs. Baum to kick Mr. Baums Fantasy Football ass.

Captain America

In honor of the Fourth of July weekend I decided to write this blog about America's greatest hero (do people call him that? where is my husband when I need him to confirm or deny?), Captain America.

As you know in the next few weeks there will be a movie based on him released, Captain America: The First Avenger. It stars Chris Evans and some pretty British girl. I believe Stanley Tucci is in it as well. I loved him in Easy A. In my opinion the trailer does look decent, I would even say it looks good enough that I would go see it willingly. My husband on the other hand thinks the movie looks GREAT! He has been talking about it for at least a year. As soon as he knew they were making a movie about 'Cap' (that's how he refers to him. I think my husband has a man crush on him) he has been awaiting the day it was finally released. I am sure he probably even squealed at the first trailer when it was released. If you go back and listen to some of his past podcasts, The Two-Headed Nerd Comicast, I am sure he talks about the Captain America comic book and/or movie a few times.

Do you know what makes me excited about the Captain America movie? If you say Chris Evans, you would be dead wrong. He is not my type. I am a Dave Grohl kind of girl, but that is a conversation for another day. What I am excited for is (drum roll please....)Baskin Robbins new Captain America flavor of the month. Oh hells yes! The best part is what they have named it, The Super-Solider Swirl (I die! I die!). This makes me happy. I LOVE Baskin Robbins probably as much as my husband loves ninja's. Infact, I love Baskin Robbins so much when I first signed-up for twitter I tweeted at, to and about Baskin Robbins for a whole week to get them to follow me. I was obsessed with making it happen. In the end, mission accomplished!

Let's talk about the flavor. Before I even knew what it consisted of I told my husband, "If Captain America was a flavor I think he would taste like raspberry, blueberry and sweet creamed butter (is that even real? did I just make this up?)." According to the Baskin Robbins website the flavor is a vanilla base ice cream with a cherry flavored swirl and a "thrilling combo" of blue chips. DELICIOUS! I would so eat me some America.

50 Girls 50

Guess what's back? Back again? Kacie's back to review again...na na na na...In tonight's blog I decided to review a comic book my husband will be reviewing on his weekly podcast, The Two-Headed Nerd Comicast.

The lucky comic to be reviewed is....drum roll please....50 Girls 50 #1 from Image Comics.

-The cover has what appears to be space-girl-fembots (remember the fembots in Austin Powers? Yeah like that but in space suits, scratch that, sexy space suits).

-Behind the bots is a space rocket, I feel that is probably symbolisim. For what you ask? Oh, I don't know, maybe a PENIS.

-I am already sold on page one. They are already throwing out "hell" and "bitch." I am in!

-So I am sure I missed some back story here because it starts out with two fembots being frightened or terrified by some talking lobster-esq dragon oozing slime. Nope, I did not, this is issue one... Christ.

-The bots shoot at this creature and then slide around in its 'guts?' There's a bunch of... Hold on I need to ask my husband the correct term for the name of this.... Onomatopia! Including: BZZT! and SPLSSH!

-Oh no, the bots don't think this is going as planned. Tension!

-Meanwhile on "Earth-Space"....WHAT the hell does "Earth Space" mean?!....

-Okay, not going to lie, I have drank a lot of wine and words like 'wormhole' are meaning something totally different to me right now than they should be.

-So sumary of this page; the setting looks like NASA headquarters and Times Square, there's mention of something about wormhole travel, and because of that "something" the scientists sent super-sexy fembots into space to figure this shit out. Apparently these bots are not only totally smoking hot with the best boobs ever, they are also the "greatest scienfitic and military minds our world has to offer, regardless of gender." Preach it.

-Seriously page four starts out with a shower scene. Really? So sexy fembot is showering while she is summoning Officer Bakula (holla Scott Bakula of "Men of a Certain Age")

-Oh wait, SHE is Officer Bakula. What a twist!

-One of the bots looks like a young Grace Jones.

-They are now all talking about how great they and their mission are as they approach "Earth-Space"... ie home.

-I just learned wormhole travel limits them to 50 crew members. 50 HOT crew members.

-These girls are like the space version of the Pussycat Dolls.

-Oh snap! Something is very wrong here. They are heading to a planet that is not Earth.

-Officer Bakula is looking perplexed.

-Damn 6 hours in and they are still not at this not-Earth-Space-planet. That is the longest space travel ever. #sarcasm

-I think Officer Ramnarain aka Janelle, and long haired brunette bot are in love.....ahhhhhh.

-The hot ginger commands Officer Bakula to "suit up!" and go check this "new-not-Earth-Space-planet" out.

-I want officer Bakula to yell "I object!' (Legally Blonde shout out, in da house)

-Man down, or should I say fembots down! Janelle and Officer Bakula are crashing into the unknown planet.

-Oh my hell I am only 6 pages in.

-So the two ladies decide to suit up even more and go check outside their crashed ship. Apparently something in the air is eroding plastic on the ship. Gasp! Their helmets, belts and even the stiches are all plastic on their suits. Their clothes are going to erode (of course).

-Meanwhile back on the main ship... The rest of the Pussycat Dolls have determined "Something in that soup caused the ship to disappear. Two officers are now MIA." (cue dramatic music here).

-So back to the beginning when the bots were swimming in goo/slime, it appears it is happening all over again. Officer Bakula, "I spent so long cleansing myself of this damn trip and now..." All I can think of is South Pacific and the song "I wanna wash that man right out of my hair."

-Phew...apparently Janelle says the goo is just mud. Relief.

-Bah! The mud is melting off her suit.

-Oh wait it didn't melt off her entire suit just her sleeves. She has major guns. Guns as in muscles (pervert).

-Something just stole the gun they had right out of Janelle's hand. Now they are screwed and losing clothes by the second.

-How is this not soft-core porn?

-Now there are giant bugs after them.

-Oops..there goes Bakulas pants. Give me a break.

-In these short few minutes their ship has been taken over with what appears to be moss.

-All of a sudden the stomach of Bakulas suit is missing and I can see under-boob. Please...

-Andddddddd.... Butt-shot of Janelle hot wiring the ship. Ok, seriously?!

-Just because they use big science words to describe what is going on doesn't distract me from the fact that they are pretty much naked. This is ridiculous, even for me.

-So Janelle is the MacGyver of the the two. She is using moss, boxes, wires, and guns and making something awesome to help them escape.

-BAM! Escaped foiled due to bug on board.

-Damn that bug is ugly. Actually it looks like a squishy T-Rex with no arms (do the creep ahhha do the creep).

-Oh man, Bakula delivers such a Will Smith action movie line..."Did I mention I hate bugs?!"

-By the way there is a lot of under-boobage going on while she is attacking said bug.

-During this time Janelle "MacGyvered" something to contact the fembot mothership.

-Side note, the ship they are on is called 'Savannah.' Dumb.

-Janelle, "We've encountered hostile lifeforms and our weapons have malfunctioned. Both myself and Officer Bakula are accounted for, but some solvent in the atmosphere dissolved all plastic parts in the shuttle and equipment (and your clothes, sluts? - me)"

-The brain trust of Ginger, Grace Jones, hot lesbian and other are working on the away team's extraction.

-Page turn...GIVE ME A BREAK!!! Seriously? If i wanted to see naked girls I would look at Blake Lively's fake/real?-nude photos (NSFW). So now Janelle and Bakula are in full attack mode wearing cave-women bikini's. Pardon me, cave-women-thong-bikinis.

-All of a sudden, out of the ocean (forgot, there's an ocean) rises a large crab. Seems fitting.

-With their half naked bodies they spear the mutant crab, but it's shell explodes and out births tiny-nasty-ass-mutant-sand-crab-creatures.

-Ha! One is crawling up Bakula's leg... Insert STD joke.

-Somehow while being chased by std's they managed to extract their ship's equipment and use the hollowed out mutant crab shell as a possible escape pod ("escape pod" courtesy of my husband).

-Crafty ladies, I tip my imaginary hat to you.

-The crafty girls then find a tank of "mono-molecular hydrogen", which looks like a penis especially when Janelle is inserting it as the engine for the new make shift ship. Mind you, it was being rammed into place in a sexual fashion.

-Blurgh, is this over yet?

-Why bother having Bakula even in clothes now. I mean her top is pretty much pasties at this point. Side note, Bakula has to rescue Janelle who is now hanging upside-down from a rope hanging from the make-shift-crab-shell-ship. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Of course she is rescued and they embrace whilst scantilly clad.

-Space bugs (in space this time) are approaching the crab-ship even though they are mere feet from their space ship... Almost rescued and yet still losing even more clothing.

-Okay, now they are topless and the fembots from "Savannah" (the mothership) are throwing them a rope to climb aboard.

-I will admit their breasts are spectacular.

-They made it aboard!! Ahoy chesty matees!

-But wait..there are still wormhole issues, but it's okay. They are "Earth-Space" bound, again.

-We end with a shower scene, just like we started.

-WAIT!!! WTF! Bakula sits in the corner of the shower sobbing saying she cant do this anymore and a mutant octopus tentacle comes towards her telling her "she can". Oh my damn.... To be continued....

So overall my review is, why read soft-core porn comics with lots of science jargon when there's plenty of free internet porn (including fake/real? shots of Blake Lively nude (( she's in Green Lantern, nerds)) out there?

Top 5

Last night (editor's note: this was written on Friday) my husband and I indulged in a little wine (okay, a lot of wine) and some fabulous pizza from Pitch Pizzeria, a restaurant in the Dundee neighborhood of Omaha. After dinner while finishing said wine we decided to come up with two lists. My husband was very excited and I wanted to play along. Nerds love lists. The first list included great reoccurring television characters in a comedy (characters like Ron Swanson, George Costanza, etc., who are supporting characters are excluded). The second list included people we think need to be more famous. This category is a little more open and can include comedians, musicians, athletes or actors.

Without further ado, here are our lists:

Top 5 Reoccurring TV Characters:
-Cockroach from The Cosby Show (me)
-The Janitor from Scrubs (both)
-Larry from Newhart (my husband)
-Newman from Seinfeld (both)
-Radar from MASH (my husband)

Top 5 People that should be or need to be more Famous (all these were agreed upon by us both):
-Rachel McAdams

-Pete Yorn
-Topher Grace
-Jason Bateman
-Nathan Fillion

There was some disagreement (my husband really wanted Ryan Gosling to be more famous, but I assured him he is doing just fine), some one sided love (and I quote "You really love Cockroach,") and a same time shout out of Topher Grace (the first name that came to both our minds after chosing this list, weird?).

Let me know what you think of the list of post your own list for funsies.

Two-Headed Nerd Comicast

"Your listening to The Two-Headed Nerd Comicast with Joe and Matt." That's the introduction to every episode of my husband's relatively new comic podcast he and his friend, Joe Patrick, host every week.

I was going to write this blog earlier, but I wanted to make sure podcasting wasn't a phase, because there have been phases. There was a P90X stage, there is currently an 'I think I love the NBA' phase (this will end after the playoffs and championship), Sunday afternoon drinking was another phase and there once was a drunken Austin Stevens: Snakemaster phase.

Back to the podcast. I am not even sure how this all began. All I remember (and my memory is crap) is my husband coming to me one day (or it could have been night, really people my memory is seriously bad) telling me enthusiastically, "Joe and I are starting a comic book podcast and it's going to be exceptionally nerdy." But of course, what else could it be?

Each week they work on a script and record all the latest comic related news at Legend Comics (located at 5131 Leavenworth Street). Some of the nerdiness in each episode includes: reviewing a comic from that week and rating it on a "buy it", "skim it, or "leave it" system, a lightening round where they review ten comics very quickly, (which if you have no comic background like me can be very confusing. The first time I listened to it my brain was wrinkled), comic news including movies and Ask a Nerd.

I would like to point out that twice now, as a supportive wife, I have contributed questions to the Ask a Nerd segment and both times they have gone ignored. Rude. So, I feel now is a good time to ask them again, where maybe some other nerd out there will appreciate them and answer.

Q1: Was Vicki Vale a character in a Batman comic book or made up for the Tim Burton movie?

Q2: Nerds, did you like the star of Kick Ass more after seeing his sweet ass dance moves in the new R.E.M. video? i did.

If by now you are not intrigued then maybe this will hook you in for a listen. USA Today's Pop Candy Blog named them one of the top ten comic podcasts to check out after only 5 episodes. I like to believe I was instrumental with my tweeting and emailing to Pop Candy (you are welcome nerds) but I am sure others sent in their podcast as well. The only downside I can now see from this is now not only does Omaha know I married the King of the Nerds the entire nation who reads Pop Candy knows of my husbands nerdiness as well.

Final thoughts, apparently a listener pointed out to my husband that he talks about his wife at least once every episode. For all you listeners out there I think that would make an excellent drinking game so make it happen. Also, I know that in last week's episode I was called out for slacking a bit on the blog entries so here you go dorks!

Side note: Dear Legend Comics, Get a website so I can hook you up with a link in this here blog!

On Broadway!

I must confess even though I make fun of my husband being a giant nerd there are a few things that I nerd out over too. One such thing is Broadway musicals. I LOVE musicals...I mean LOVE LOVE LOVE them so much I want to be in one and I can't carry a tune for the life of me. I feel there is no reason to not break out in song to describe a situation occurring during the day, sigh, if only. But I digress, this blog is not about me, but it is about musicals and my husband. You see the only way I can ever get him to go to a musical with me is if the musical has dirty foul mouthed puppets ("Avenue Q") or Frankenstein.

Believe me when I say I have tried repeatedly to get him to see such fare as "Mamma Mia," "Movin' Out" and "Wicked" (just to name a few) with no success. I mean how would he not want to see "Wicked?" It has witches, animals that are professors, flying monkees, witchcraft and wizardry, a journey through a mythical land, midgets... Sorry, munchkins and death. I mean that's like live action Dungeons & Dragons right there. Following a magical witch on her journey through a old village/city where you encounter strange characters along the way (Professor Animals and munchkins) while completing tasks, i.e. capture Dorothy and her friends. How does he not see it?? More importantly how sad that my view of "Wicked" now is one big D & D game.

Anyway, tomorrow night we are going to see a production of "Young Frankenstein" at Omaha's Orpheum Theater. This was an easy sell, and I even managed to get him to agree to spring for Orchestra seats...hollar! I hope he can handle all the singing and dancing because he can barely handle it in an episode of Glee and that is only an hour. I also hope Igor and the Monster are enough of a hook to keep him interested for 2 plus hours (sshhh...don't tell him it's that long).

Side note: A few weeks ago I attended "Mamma Mia" at the Orpheum with some lovely friends. Before intermission two of us were vomited on by some kid that managed to spew over the balcony onto our Orchestra seats. Long story short, tomorrow I return to the scene of the crime. Infact, our seats for this play are row K, 25 and 26. For "Mamma Mia" they were row K, seats 18,20 and 22. I think he is excited to see were I was puked on, another musical selling point for a nerd I guess.

Clap your hands and say yeah!

I had my Friday night all planned out: gym, shoe shopping, home and finally birthday drinks with my brother in law's wife and friends. Well, the birthday outing got cancelled due to the birthday girl coming down with the sickness. I didn't make any other plans and decided just to stay home for a quiet evening.

While I laid down upstairs with my adorable pugs, Beeps and Mabel, my husband was having his monthly D & D (Dungeons and Dragons) night in our basement. It was around 10:30 p.m. or so when the incident happened. Sometimes I feel it is best not to know what goes on down there, and this is one of those times. After reviewing D & D rules once again on the Internet I found what I heard occur is NOT part of the game, which makes it even more disturbing.

All of a sudden I heard a slow clap, followed by everyone else joining in. The slow clap quickly turned into a beat, it was like there was a band down there. Then it stopped. In what seemed like less than a minute later, the beat clap returned, followed by a bunch of 'wooing' and laughter (I think my husband and his friends are woo girls, dear god save me). Finally another minute later the clap made it's last appearance.

Again, I am not sure what was going on but I can only imagine. In my mind they are sitting around the table clapping to a dance beat with one of them jumping on the table and breaking it down with moves as sweet as these. Sigh, if only......

A little ditty about Clive and Hines Ward....

Let me set the scene: Tuesday night, Darios (a local Belgian Brasserie in Dundee), half price Belgian beers (every Tuesday), and blue cheese mussels with pomme frites. The night is coming to an end when the following conversation happens:

husband: Do you know Brian Michael Bendis? He's a comic book writer, nerds love him.

me: That name sounds familiar....

husband: Well he writes a comic called "Powers" and it is becoming a show...

me: (interrupting) on FX! I knew that. I read it on CNN.

husband: Yes...so they need to cast someone big in the main role... (Christian)

me: (Again interrupting) Oh like Chris Jericho!

husband: WHAT? Where did that come from? Chris Jericho the former wrestler?

me: Well he is on the new season of Dancing with the Stars so he's fresh in my mind.

husband: (Makes a sound similar to a huff of disbelief. Quickly changes subject.) So they are remaking Escape From New York. I want Clive Owen to be 'Snake Plisken.'

me: Was that the movie with Kurt Russell?

husband: Yes, with Kurt Russell. I want Clive Owen with an eye patch, long hair and tough as nails. *makes a wicked giggle laugh*

me: Clive Owen is so good looking, but I bet he is super mean.

husband: Yeah he looks mean, but sexy mean.

me: What about Hines Ward?

husband: WHAT?!

me: Do you think he is Korean?

husband: No, he's black! And what the hell!!!

Annnnnnnnnnnnd Scene....Happy Tuesday!!!

Cat Shit One

Friday night started like any other Friday night. We downloaded a Groupon for Dhaba (a local Indian place, yum!) where we were going to meet my husbands parents for dinner and then to view the Oscar nominated short films at Film Streams, (a local art house theatre). Well it snowed this evening here in Omaha, and underneath the little snow we received, black ice. How fun!!! So after three attempts to get my little Scion XA up three different hills on the way to dinner we found ourselves doing a 360 down 60th Street and stopping inches from a car accident at the bottom of the hill. Best.Friday.Night.Ever. After avoiding the car accident, we decided to stay in the 'hood' and have a lovely dinner at Pitch Pizzeria, and then come home for a treat. Yes, a treat for my loyal readers. I am going to live blog while watching a movie my husband recently ordered off of Amazon...Cat Shit One, a CG animated movie based loosely on Desert Storm, ladies and gentleman. You can view the trailer here. Enjoy!

(Oh by the way, we will be viewing the Japanese version not the English one. Nerd style of course.)

Live blog/notes:

-The opening credits seems a lot like "Three Kings" except the bad guys are camels and the good guys are rabbits. Racist already and not even 3 minutes in.

-"Is this racist? I can't decide," husband.

-When the racist 'American' rabbits talk their tails wag. Oh Johnny Cotton Tail you are such a tease!

-Okay take two. We had to switch to the English version with the Japanese dialogue and the English subtitles due to the previous DVD menu being in Japanese and we couldn't read it. Apparently it was written in Kanji (according to my husband).

-Motofumi Kobayashi is the man who wrote the comic this is based off of...that name sounds like a delicious place I would love to eat. (racist?)

-There doesn't seem to be a Japanese word for copy. The rabbits keep saying it into their walkie talkies at the end of their sentences.

-The camels are killing hostage bunnies!

-One of the rabbits is named Perkins but his bunny friend, Botasky (sniper) calls him Packy. I am already confused. Dammit.

-Side note: these racist bunnies are hella cute.

-"The animation is stunning," husband ("Despite the racist undertones," via me).

-A lot of camels getting shot in the neck and head. How do you really feel about Arabs Motofumi??

-This is more violent than a Quentin Tarantino movie.

-Oh hell's yes, a camel with an eye patch.

-And, Dead camel with an eye patch.

-Just learned 'shit' in Japanese.

-"Apparently one of the hostages is a camel, There are good camels, it's not racist," husband.

-First rabbit causality by a missile. Camels are rallying...Botasky is so screwed.

-"Is it strange that the camels hump isn't covered by their uniforms?" me

-My husband is giggling like Taylor Swift over here (not sure why I picked Taylor Swift, but she looks like a giggler).

-Botasky...not screwed.

-Oh man, their unit is called Cat Shit One (b-rabbit in da house (shout out to 8 mile!))

-They have to use a yellow smoke signal to call the chopper. Shout out to Native Americans!

-Packy don't be a hero....

-You know why Packy is the hero? His ears are down compared to the usual up-right rabbit ears (this is probably due to the hat he wears). That's why.

-Packy has two RPG's...WTF? (rocket propelled grenades - thank you husband).

-This reminds me of call of duty, and no I do not want to watch Water Ship Down. Husband says this is a perfect combo of both.

-Oh Botaksy, don't be a hero, stay with the yellow smoke my dude.

-Cue slow mo camels running shooting at Packy, oh crap! Camel shot in the head in Matrix-style slow mo, of course.

-Botasky to the rescue!!!

-I cannot believe I am watching this, isn't Say Yes to the Dress on or something?

-And a Black Hawk helicopter takes out a heard of camels. Of course it does.

-Why is the unit called Cat Shit One? I need this explained to me STAT.

-Botasky and Packy remind me of Frodo and Sam, only with big guns "I can't carry the ring, but I can carry your big gun." Gayyyyyy!

-Cue cute Japanese pop music to roll over end credits.

-Episode one over. Apparently this is not a movie but a series. Dear god there is more. Save me.

**disclaimer: Okay, so I really needed to write a blog this week and I figured, well hell, that DVD from Amazon from a few weeks ago was still here. So yes, it was my idea to watch Cat Shit One. I did this to myself.**

Silly Love Songs

You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.
But I look around me and I see it isn't so. Oh, no
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.
And what's wrong with that? - Paul McCartney and Wings "Silly Love Songs"

The most romantic faux holiday, Valentine's Day, is just right around the corner. A day when silly love songs are serenaded to loved ones and played on the radio for all to hear.

A few Friday nights ago my husband serenaded me with a little diddy. Can you guess what it was? No, it wasn't this song, or this (what? he could totally love some Backstreet Boys). Nope, not this one either. It was........this gem. The theme song to the 1980s G.I. Joe cartoon. Jealous?

After a night out with some friends and a lot of beer my husband feels the need to come home and watch The HUB network on direct tv. It airs such classics as: Transformers, Fraggle Rock and Pound Puppies. When the G.I. Joe theme song kicked in so did my husband. He started singing at the top of his lungs while moving his arms back and forth similar to this. When the theme song was over, he turned ever so seductively towards me smiling and raising an eyebrow as if to ask me if I was turned on. Really?!

Let's take a look at the lyrics below to see if I was mistaken to not be turned on:

Yoooooooo Joe!
He'll fight for freedom wherever there is trouble,
me: Well I suppose you can't really judge an entire song by the first two lines. I will give it sometime, it could become really sexy....

G.I. Joe is there!
me: Yeah, still not feeling the heat....who is this Joe? Do they refer to woman as Joe? I am getting off subject, refocus!

G.I. Joe...
A Real American Hero
G.I. Joe is there.
me: Well this song has just turned racist. There are other heroes that are not American take note cartoon land!!

Its G.I. Joe against Cobra and Destro,
Fighting to save the day.
He never gives up, he's always there,
Fighting for freedom over land and air.
me: This is the first time this song has some hotness potential. Joe vs. Cobra and Destro, fighting to save the day, never giving up, fighting for freedom and possibly for love? Romantic scale is tipping on the upside some....

G.I. Joe...
A Real American Hero
G.I. Joe is there.
me: yawn...racist repeat...romantic scale back to non-existing.

(spoken)
G.I. Joe is the codename for America's daring, highly trained, special mission force.
Its purpose: To defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless, terrorist organization determined to rule the world.
me: Oh! I like the spoken word interlude here. Although it would have been hotter if Marvin Gaye voiced it. Can you imagine? He would make Cobra sound like a sex act illegal in 8 states. Hot!

He never gives up, he'll stay till the fights won -
G.I. Joe will dare.
me: Sigh, I just don't think men fighting is all that hot, unless it
involves Mark Wahlberg boxing in "The Fighter."

G.I. Joe...
A Real American Hero
G.I. Joe!
me: After reviewing the theme song, I have come to the conclusion that my reaction on that Friday night was warranted.

Happy Valentines Day!! xoxo

Carlos the Dwarf

I am not even going to try and explain my absence. Really there is no excuse except that I am easily distracted with such things as work, Spaghetti Night, drinking wine, going out with friends, watching Parks and Recreation and so on.

So now that I am back, I thought I would revisit a topic that I have previously discussed on this blog. Welcome back: Dungeons & Dragons aka D & D.

Why revisit? Well, it started a few weeks ago while I was out with some buddies and consumed a few delicious red margaritas from Rivera's. When I arrived home, my husband had his monthly D & D game going on in our basement. I was far to drunk to drive myself anywhere else for the evening and they were short a player so I volunteered my services. Looking back, this would have been a disaster to all the basement dudes, so my husband made the right choice leaving me upstairs to watch the same three episodes of Law & Order: UK on the BBC the rest of the night.

Side note, one of the stars on the law part of that show was one of the main guys on the Battlestar Galactica reboot. I feel by being able to identify him I get some props and might just inch ahead of ninja's on my husbands favorite things chart (fingers crossed).

Ever since that night D & D has been surfacing everywhere I look. It first started with a clip from Freaks & Geeks (R.I.P). I sat over my lunch break and watched all 5 minutes of the clip laughing to myself thinking, "Oh my god. This is my husband and his friends, except they are much more attractive." (Disclaimer: James Franco is smoking hot, sorry dudes, he's the exception to the attractive statement)

Next, all I have been hearing for weeks is about the D & D episode that Community was going to air. As I sat there and watched it with my husband, I noticed between his giggles there were a few head shakes followed by, "They needed to get a real nerd in there to research this. Everyone should be rolling the dice. That's just not right."

I would ask a question here and there to him usually along the lines of "Do you do this?"
The response was usually a vague, "Sometimes...."

After that I made him watch the Freaks & Geeks clip and that seemed to be more similar to the D & D he and his buddies play what was on Community.

More importantly the clip and episode got me thinking. What really happens in our basement the first Friday of each month? I am not allowed to venture down there, nor do I ever think I should, but my imagination went wild and here is what I think should happen:

-Everyone needs to dress in character a la Senor Chang, even if it is a mild hate crime
-Invite James Franco
-Pencil sword fight like the geeks in the clip with a disco song playing in the background at least once an hour
-Eat an entire pizza...each
-Turn it Glee-esq by adding a song and dance number each time you arrive at a new village or meet a new character
-Give all your characters Latino names a la Carlos the Dwarf
-Someone dies of dysentery
-Harry Potter's invisibility cloak is introduced in the game, as well as Harry Potter, Boy Wizard (you would have to change his name however to follow the new rules, so welcome 'Hector Potter, Hechicero Chico')
-Your characters can only speak in Kayne West tweets.
For example: Jesus, Gnomo de Jardín enters the village Hogsmeade and stumbles upon Charo, Princesa Guerrera. He needs to buy a marble conference table.
Jesus: Do you know where to find marble conference tables? I'm looking to have a conference... not until I get the table though
Charo: choose em wise
Jesus: Swiizzzzzzzyyyyy ..... I ain't playing fair right now...
Charo: I'm just tryna keep it symmetrical
Jesus: Let me talk to your boss's boss
Charo: CASH IS KING
Jesus: So Ima get my money LETS GO!
and scene....